After a long time I am not facing any deadlines. No concrete targets ahead, just easy road to walk on. I am unhappy… I can’t recall being unhappy in Scmhrd in last one year of my stay. I was afraid of this since a long time, at last it came.
This was a special unhappy phase with me searching for my favourite songs to add to the play list and it’s over an hour since I have been doing nothing but listening to songs, its 5 in the morning and I have taken almost 300 rounds of the hostel passage. I have gone into hallucination couple of times over.
It’s not new. By the 23rd year of my existence I have reached a phase where I have accepted the fact that human beings are selfish by nature even if it’s at a cost of a fellow friend. But maybe because I am having free time after many days, I am driven under.
Well my last week has been good, with some good work on acads, some good books read after a long time. Some new friends made which seem to be very good. And I’m also having a crush on a friend of mine, who I know since over a year now. It’s amazing to know that I am having a crush on her after one year of decent hi-hello friendship. It’s good to experience the same feeling which I had when I had proposed a girl for the first time, 16 years ago. I think I still have the same innocence, same sense of love, same thrill and the speeding of the heart beats. Just that it’s coinciding with me losing a friend of mine, my best friend. And the word broken doesnt mean the same.
Life has many colours; every moment is Pandora’s Box,
Juggling and gambling and little bit of humbling, I hope I ain’t coaxed.
Every time I’m broken, a new I am born,
Same principles, damaged conscience.
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